On Sunday 8th March I’m doing something pretty special for Comic Relief.
That’s right… I’ve signed up to be part of the Red Nose Day Danceathon at Wembley, with the Team Honk blogging crew.
The Comic Relief Danceathon event will be hosted by Claudia Winkleman and will consist of me, and 1,999 other glittery funkstars boogeying on down non-stop for six hours.
We’ll be following the dance steps of 12 of the UK’s most happening dance instructors, including Arlene Phillips, Adam Garcia and Kimberly Wyatt, who’ll be teaching us 12 different dance styles which will change every 30 minutes. So far on the table are 50s, disco, Bollywood, West End musicals and my personal favourite… Streetdance.
Yep, I’ll be gettin’ in the zone by hosting my own personal Uprock, channeling the brilliant movies ‘Beat Street’ and ‘Breakdance 2: Electric Boogaloo’ (I don’t think I ever saw the first one) and bustin’ some moves only ever witnessed by the kitchen floor at house parties after a few too many Babychams, and the Kiama Leisure Centre Blue Light Disco circa 1984.
When I was a kid, I wrote a story for school about being teleported in a garbage bin to The Bronx in New York and the Rock Steady Crew saw me bust out my breakin’ repertoire of the ‘Fish Flop’ seamlessly gliding into the ‘Epileptic Worm’ (sorry, those 80s breakdance move names aren’t very PC are they?) and were so impressed that they asked me to join their crew. Baby Love and I got to showing those B-Boys how to break well over a decade before the Spice Girls starting going on about their Girl Power business. But, you know, I had a very busy life trying to be cool back in rural Australia so I sadly had to decline their kind offer and teleport back in the garbage bin to the more pressing issue of being a nine-year-old girl.
So that’s what you can expect from me at Wembley. And here’s a tiny little taster for your viewing pleasure. As you can see, I’m still as nubile as a twenty something… gazelle-like even… despite being on the cusp of middle age.
So now that you’ve viewed my inevitable talent for the medium of dance in all its glory, do you reckon you could put your hand in your pocket for Comic Relief? I wouldn’t show the world I’m as graceful as a bin lorry for nothing, you know!
I’m after sponsors to raise money which will go towards helping people living really tough lives in the UK and across Africa. Red Nose Day is a fantastic charity event, so please… dig deep! You can sponsor me here.
And to get the bidding started, I’m pleased to announce that Betfair have very kindly kickstarted my sponsorship campaign by pledging to donate £150 to my Red Nose Day Giving Page if I showed the world my breakdancing. Word!
The event is also being televised live via the BBC Red Button, so as well as being able to see celebs like Zoe Ball, Rufus Hound, Jo Whiley, Rachel Riley and Chelsee Healey, you might even be able to check out my moves on the actual day. My ‘Fish Flop’ has a tendency to cause my dress to go over my head so that I unexpectedly flash my knickers to the entire dancefloor, so there’s a pretty good chance the TV camera will be glued to my arse in horror.
What more is there to say but: “Hello Wembley!”